When I was little, I swam.
My mom tells the story like this.
"You were only 3 years old, when they dropped you into the water at your first swim class. As soon as you hit the water you swam to the instructor. The swim teacher wanted you on the swim team as soon as you were old enough."
But, I didn't come from a family where my mom had time and money to take me to swim team meets and trainings. So, one day she got into a fender bender and my dad fixed the white pinto with bond-o and used the insurance money to get a pool.
The day the pool went in my life changed. I didn't leave the water. Ever. It was the most calming and peaceful experience. Swimming allowed me to work through every challenge in my life. From failed tests, to heartaches and heartbreaks, to my dad dying from lung cancer, the pool allowed me to work through the experiences of my life. Like yoga, swimming allows you to reflect and break through the roots that cause pain.
So, no, my happiness was not a painless journey. My happiness is the journey. Working through the clouds that fog it. I move because want to feel that same happiness like when I hit the water for the first time at 3. That innocence and total surprise that you could do something you had no idea you could do.
I wanted that feeling everyday of my life. But, to get that feeling meant I had to challenge myself to learn new things and to be open. I can't cling, I can only move on and swim.
Yoga asana practice is exactly like swimming. There is a little resistance, internal control, and a lot of release occurring. But there is something else that happens. It is the feeling of support. Like floating on top of the water. You are supported by an unseen force. Many will sink to the bottom if they haven't practiced floating. The ability to float comes from having pure faith the water will support you.
Yes, there is more to my happiness than just having an easy smile always at my lips. Like you, I have been through trials and tribulations too. And through running a business, I have also been through things where many entrepreneurs have been known to end their life for. I swim. I float. And, I can smile because I do have faith. I have strong faith. And while others can take your money, your car, or friends, they can never take your faith.
It isn't about sinking or swimming anymore. It is about floating and letting life happen. Being ready for life to happen and to be willing to go with it, trusting there is a purpose for all this. It is a beautiful sea of life out there. Don't wonder if someone else knows or understands your pain, just work through the pain. Get on a yoga mat and breathe. Go to the sea. Hike a though the woods. Work through it with a natural treasure on this planet. Work through it, one breath at a time.